As I mentioned in both my about page and the plural blog post.. I’m plural, obviously. However our system works a lot different than a lot of systems, so this blog post aims to explain how our system works, to the best of my ability. There’s many layers to this, so get seated and prepare for a long reading session, with many twists and turns.
The Three Layers#
Inside of our headspace we have what are called the three layers. These layers make up what our headspace is, and each have different functions. These layers do not typically interact with each other unless some kind of event happens that causing them to need to interact, such as a new headmate forming. So let’s get right into this complex mess.
Layer 0: Genesis#
Layer 0 also known by our system members as Genesis is the “starting point” of the system. It in a way acts as a sort of hypervisor, controlling and monitoring everything inside our system. All headmates are created in this layer, and are in most cases pushed into Layer 2. However, Layer 0 can also cause members to stop existing.
In essence, Genesis represents the body’s subconcious. It can not be interacted with, controlled, talked to, or reasoned with. We don’t really see it as some sort of god, rather we see it as a sort of automated system, a black box in a sense.
Generally when a headmate is “spawned” by Genesis we get some sort of sign telling us a new headmate has been created. This is usually unexplainable emotions, an intense headache, extreme levels of dissociation, or all of the above. It should be noted however, not every time we get hints that a member may be being created that they will be pushed to higher layers, it’s possible that they don’t form.
Layer 1: The Dark#
Layer 1 also known as The Dark represents the first layer of the concious mind. This is generally where trauma, depressing thoughts, and anything relating to abuse are kept. It is not a layer we interact with, but sometimes it can tend to leak or seap into Layer 2. In rare cases it has even leaked into Layer 0 and caused reiterations.
In simple terms, The Dark respents repressed thoughts and memories. It is a vault of darkness, a void. We try to avoid it at all costs, however sometimes it can cause harm to the other layers and the entities inside of it, or the layer itself.
Any abuse we go through, any toxic thoughts we have, any depressing memories, any thing that might cause harm to members of our system are pushed into this layer. It is not a pretty place by any means and we wish we didn’t need it in the first place, however we do due to everything we’ve been through, as much as it sucks.
Layer 2: The Beach#
Layer 2 also known as The Beach is where we all reside. It is essentially a beach with a swingset, and a cozy wooden cabin by the shore. Inside of it there are rooms, a room for each headmate and then a central “front” room where they can go to control the body. This is the basis of how fronting works for us and what allows us to have solid concepts.
Each member’s room is based on their personality, as a new member is formed we track things about them, the things they like, the things they disliked, how they act, what their orientations are, you know, what makes them who they are.
For example.. Aurora’s room is pink and purple and filled with stuffed animals, her bed is literally a giant teddy bear! The concept of these rooms and writing down everything about our members is what allows us to have concrete ideas of who is fronting, who the person is, and even allow them to basically interact and live individually.
System Reiterations#
Our system goes through what we call “Generations” or “Iterations.” These are in essence, a complete and full rewriting of everyone in the system. Fortunately, reiterations really only happen during traumatic or highly emotional events, and does not happen in our every day lives, so we’re fairly stable for the most part. Generally there is two types of reiterations: Traumatic and Emotional, so we’ll explain the difference in this section.
Traumatic Reiterations#
Traumatic reiterations are lossy, they often result in the loss of one or multiple members of the system. Fortunately as the name implies, these only really happen when some sort of traumatic or highly stressful event happens. These events can often cause either a partial or complete erasure of members, or in rare cases the system itself.
Emotional Reiterations#
Emotional reiterations are lossless, they often result in only rewriting or modifications being made to members of the system. Unlike traumatic reiterations these can happen fairly often as they are caused by intense emotional events, these events can be happy, sad, angry, etc. The emotion does not matter as long as it is intense.
Previous Iterations#
Our system has so far gone through 5 iterations. Our system started roughly in 2016, we believe from traumatic origins. While we are diagnosed with OSDD-1b, we believe we do have some of the amnesiac effects that are attributed to OSDD-1a or DID. Sometimes when a new iteration occurs all memories from that iteration can be lost, unfortunately.
Gen 0: Maiden#
Lifespan: 2016 - 2018
Members: Spring (Host), Summer, Fall, Winter
Generation zero happened in 2016, it was, as the name probably implies, the first iteration of the system. It was caused by trauma regarding being abused by a past relationship for 6 months. Eventually the system was formed as a way for the host to have companionship when she had no one else to go to. It is probably a major reason she is alive.
Gen 1: Shatter#
Lifespan: 2018 - 2020
Members: Hanna (Host), Blake, Elyss
Generation one happened in 2018 and was caused by two members of generation zero fighting, resulting in Winter, another one of the members of zero to force a new iteration of the system for the protection of the host. This unfortunately meant the loss of winter, and everyone else in the system. Not much else is known about what happened that day.
Gen 2: Stardew#
Lifespan: 2020 - 2023
Members: Hanna (Host), Chloe, Rose, Jay, Mira
Generation two happened due to family abuse that happened when the system came out as trans. Due to abuse the system’s host’s grandmother gave the host the system was reformed. Chloe was created as Blake’s successor, as well as Mira being Elyss’ successor. This was also the longest lasting generation despite some issues it had.
Gen 3: Astralis#
Lifespan: Mid 2023 - Early 2024
Members: Sol (Host), Luna, Lyra, Aurora
Generation three happened due to abuse of the system’s most recent ex when we we left an abusive relationship. Due to the amount of trauma the system endured the system was essentially completely wiped, even the host itself was basically reformed. This was probably the roughest reiteration the system went through, but it was neccessary.
Gen 4: Dolls#
Lifespan: Early 2024 - Current
Members: Hanna (Host), Luna, Lyra, Aurora, Melody, Blake, Elyss
Generation four happened fortunately due to an emotional event unlike the rest of the previous iterations. This also seems to be the iteration with the most members, probably due to the fact emotional reiterations do not usually erase members. This iteration also somehow regained Blake and Elyss from generation one, which is good.
System Roles#
In our system there is multiple roles each member can have. This is to keep each member organized but also to allow us to organize ourselves internally. This also helps us keep our system stable and prevent introjection or fracturing. This is a concept that didn’t actually exist internally until generation two. Before then things were pretty chaotic.
System Host#
The system host is in essence the one who is the primary fronter and is usually based on the image of the body and the personality of the member who existed before the creation of the system. They are primarily the one who interacts with the real world, however as of recently other members have begun to interact externally as well, more openly.
Protectors#
The protectors are members dedicated to the preservation and protection of the system. They are the ones who usually step in with the others are in danger or are in the process of currently being harmed. They have the ability to force themselves to front or force someone to unfront if they feel like they might not be safe. Though rarely used.
Adults#
As the name implies these are just typically the adults in the system, anyone above the age of 18. They are usually in charge of taking care of the littles in the system, as well as handling internal tasks. They also help the protectors and host with deciding how to handle certain situations regarding things like new members forming, and other things.
Littles#
Littles are members who are typically younger than the age of 18. They are younger people who don’t really do much in the terms of responsibilities. They typically just like to be around adults and protectors at all times, and don’t super often talk outside of the system due to being shy. However around people they trust they may talk fairly often.
Member Interactions#
Our system’s members can interact in headspace in a variety of different ways, such as emotional, physical, even romantically and sexually. Due to the level of isolation our members have, they are basically entirely seperate entities just stuck in a single body. We don’t know exactly how this works, but our system has worked like this for a while.
Emotional Interaction#
Our members constantly interact on an emotional level. We can love, like, dislike, hate, you know, feelings normal emotions have. We can feel different things from each other. We can have feelings for and about each other. It’s best to imagine it like we’re normal people, the only difference is we’re trapped in a “container” of some kind.
Physical Interaction#
The best way to describe how physical interation works in our system is probably to think of it kind of like a simulation of sorts. While we may not be able to physically interact in the real world, we can vividly image the action of each of us interacting in headspace. This allows us to effectively interact with our “metaphysical” bodies.
It has been observed that in some cases physical interaction inside of headspace can cause the physical body of the host to somehow receive inflictions such as soreness. Visible marks never really happen but things like soreness, fatigue, and weakness have been seen to be translated to the “real world” which is always an interesting thing to see.
Romantic and Sexual Interaction#
Romantic and sexual interaction is an interesting case. Due to us being able to emotionally and physically interact with each other, this means we can form bonds and relationships within the system itself. They are genuine emotions too. There is some bonds in our system and they do feel genuinely strong and real like as if they were feelings for someone outside of the system in the world we’re used to.
Isolation and Memory#
One thing that’s kind of hard to explain is how isolation and memory works with our system, as we do not have amensia in the traditional sense. Our system is designed around the concept of isolation. Each member has their own room, their own memories, their own lives, their own privacy, the whole deal. When a person is fronting only they can use the senses, what this means is, for example if one member is talking to someone in front, and then they stop fronting and another member fronts, that member will not have any memory of that happening.
Sharing Memories#
It is possible for us to share thoughts and memories with each other but it requires a monumental amount of energy and effort to remove the isolation barrier we have built up for the years we have been a system. While generally this is only done in special cases, it can be also used to allow another headmate to feel the full emotions and feelings of another to their fullest extent, this has been done a few times, though it is dangerous.
Forming New Headmates#
Our system’s way of forming new headmates is rather complex and requires multiple steps, otherwise the headmate will only partially form and won’t be pushed into the higher layers to be integrated into the system. I hope to break down this process so that people can understand how this works for us, so that maybe they can help if it is ever needed.
Initial Phase#
During the initial phase, we get ideas and concepts that generally give us a vague idea of who this new member is, this can be a rough draft of a picrew, a commision, a poem, just something that gives us their “essence” basically. This is what kicks off the formation, and in the end what can be a dealbreaker for bringing them fully into the system itself.
Seeding Phase#
During the seeding phase, the concepts and ideas used in the Initial Phase are further expanded by focusing in on their identity. Things like what gender are they, what sort of energy do they give off, what things do they maybe like or dislike. This is when we also start getting physical symptoms that tell us that someone new is forming.
Formation Phase#
At this point we start getting intense headaches and dissociation, we usually close our eyes and put on something in the background that relates to the forming headmate. Music, a tv show, a youtube video, just something that could help pull them into front so that they can be fully realized. Assuming this works, they will be moved to the final phase.
Integration Phase#
Congrats! We have a new headmate if they have reached this point of the process. It’s at this point they are now in front temporarily, probably highly confused or maybe even scared. Eventually we’ll pull them back into headspace, get them their own room, show them around and explain things that need to be explained.